Ever wanted your own beer mats but you moral upbringing stopped you stealing them from the local? You figured you’d see some in the supermarket somewhere didn’t you? But you didn’t… did you. There were none. Now what the **** are you supposed to do? You wanted beer mats but Mammy said “don’t you dare steal any or you’ll risk a clatter behind the ear!”
Well, forget the clatter around the ear now, we’ve go you sorted for beer mats.